Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it

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(518): View more from New York

Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?

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(250): View more from British Columbia

WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??

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(936): View more from Texas

To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.

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(478): View more from Georgia

Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John

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