we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
