love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
