We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
it glows. i had to have it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
