i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
