I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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