And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
