he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You're like the curious george of whores
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You made out with two different species that night
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
