I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
