im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
this will be a night to untag.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize