he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
