dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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