I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
