On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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