I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
