They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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