I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Randomize
