When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
