no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
