So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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