You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
BRING THE BAGELS
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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