This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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