i love accidental penises.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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