who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
