my vag is so smooth its legendary
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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