i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
