Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i out mim tonsoeep
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