Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
