My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
