Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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