Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize