Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
