god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
