i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
