it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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