I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
They took my balls.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
