similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
