I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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