you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
