i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
