thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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