I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
