i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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