Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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