she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
