And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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