Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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