Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
