i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
