Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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