So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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