I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
