I'm really into asian looking animals
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
