just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize