Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
