eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
