There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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